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The Price We Pay For Love September 1, 2017

Posted by Janjan in Uncategorized.
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When all is said and done, Grief is the price we pay for Love,” writes my friend Nats using an elegant fountain pen.

I guess this sums up what’s been weighing down on my thoughts these past few weeks. A good number of my friends, myself included, find ourselves searching for lovers to fill the empty parts of ourselves. The holes in our hearts aching for tenderness, passion, and an honest intimacy to be found in someone we love, who loves us in return.

But our experiences and past relationships either left us with resentment, betrayal, and a wariness for the pain lent by vulnerability to a lover’s cruel blow.

And yet we hold faith that somewhere out there, there is someone who would hold the broken parts of ourselves in their hands and find somehow the impetus to revere and honor both the magnificent and the broken lying in their fingers.

That we ourselves would find the strength to be this kind of love for another.

I think about that also in the intimate friendships I’ve lost. In the trust broken and the respect forgone. In the love that cannot be seen past the cruel things we say, and the things we should have done.

But never did.

It’s been months of coming to terms with the brokenness and putting ourselves back with piano string and gum.

It’s easy to say that the love we seek is within ourselves and lies not with another.

But it cannot be denied that sometimes, we just want to be held, in a manner that says that the other cares. That there is a space held in the heart for fondness to grow.

In the broken places, we hold hope to find a love that is worth the grief of loving.

There is a bravery in that. A courage in the willingness to give it one more try.

Protected: KLDS August 18, 2017

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Comfort Zones August 14, 2017

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Despite having an airconditioner at home, I always sleep with an electric fan set at the lowest speed. These balmy August nights, I sleep with my pajamas on, and sometimes if it’s particularly rainy outside, with a blanket. You could say warmth is my comfort zone. I fare better in hot temperatures than I do with the cold.

I turn the AC on whenever my best friend from Bukidnon comes on over, however. It’s usually set at the coldest temperature. But even that makes my friend sweat. He sleeps with only boxers on. You could say that cold is his comfort zone.

I think about the peculiarity of the human body. Underneath, we all have the same set of organs, the same cells, the same fundamental DNA. And yet, what I would consider too cold, my friend would consider too hot.

You’d think that by now, the human species would have evolved an adaptable sense of comfort level for temperature, that, no matter where you’re placed, the temperature is always just right.

But we don’t. Our bodies will always seek the temperatures set at the levels closest to our hearts:

At those which remind us of home.

The Vibe and Feel of the Corner July 31, 2017

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I was walking past a coffeeshop near my house today, en route to Bo’s Coffee in Baseline. I was sad to see that it was closing down and transferring elsewhere.

I thought about why I rarely had coffee there. The shop was much closer to my house. Their grounds were okay and their prices much cheaper to Bo’s. I had better chances of getting a good seat there as it was less crowded.

But I still prefer the Bo’s at Baseline. It appeared I wasn’t the only one. Despite the other coffeeshop being highly visible at a busy intersection, Bo’s received more patronage.

Why is that? Business-wise, it made no sense.

It’s been said that the other coffeeshop’s location is jinxed, however. Businesses that open there rarely thrive for long.

The feng shui is supposedly good and yet the place doesn’t get a lot of customers.

I theorize that it’s “vibe” has something to do with it. There’s a heavy feel to the shop. One doesn’t feel like staying there for long because it doesn’t feel welcoming. The lights were too dim, even during the day.

One would theorize that something resides which draws away the positivity in the area.

Well at least that is my suspicion.

To Be Fair July 29, 2017

Posted by Janjan in Daily Musings.
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I am on an Oracle Journey for a period of 52 days while I acquaint and befriend a new oracle deck I’ve purchased: The Wisdom of the Oracle. Today is my third day.

I draw card #38: To Be Fair.

The card speaks of balance. I am reminded of the Hermetic Law of Polarity, and how I, as an Awakened Being, must walk on the Middle Path. I must practice compassion, non-judgment, and equanimity, accepting all that is for all that it is and is not.

I’ve been striving to remain neutral and non-judgmental in these times, specifically with respect to politics. But some days are harder than others. Violations abound and incredulity becomes the norm. How does one speak out for what is right, and at the same time, practice peace and serenity?

And to be fair, the card could also remind us to see things at another’s point of view.

The Joy of the Present Moment July 28, 2017

Posted by Janjan in Daily Musings.
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I just want to share the beautiful words of my friend Maritess Holsapple, who brilliantly connected the joy of being at the moment with satisfaction and happiness for others, no matter where they are in the moment of life.  (Original text is by Maritess but translation to English and editing are mine)

Just an observation:  Why is it that most people are rarely happy for others?

If you’re single, they ask, “Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend already?”
If you’re in a relationship, they ask, “When are you getting married?”
If you’re married, they ask, “When are you having kids?”
When you have kids, they ask, “Add more so that he/she’ll have someone to play with”
When you have many kids or as you grow older, they ask, “Do you have any grandkids?”

If you notice, each stage has a reason to be happy and cherished, but people skip sharing in the joy of the present moment of another’s life, by quickly pointing out what the other person lacks, and hurrying the other person on to what they think should be the next stage.

Life is never a race. Rest assured, it passes by swiftly.

Pushing people off their happy moment is just pointless and shows an inner sadness in the one hurrying others on.

Shufflemancy July 27, 2017

Posted by Janjan in Daily Musings.
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Few people know that I’ve taken up divination as an interest. Divination is the means of securing information through non-rational means. My method uses tarot cards and Oracle decks to read situations, people, and thoughts which people hide from themselves.

While non-rational (in the sense that the means used to gather information is not directly causal or connected to the information sought), there is however some scientific basis for the method. Carl Jung, the pre-eminent psychologist who developed theories on personality, the states of consciousness and archetypes, posits that all of humanity is connected through a collective unconscious which is the source of our common symbols, mythologies and stories which is the language used to convey the wisdom that our race has collected over the ages.

Hence cards are merely one means for divining meaning. Interestingly, modern times have crafted a new technique called Shufflemancy.

Simply stated, shufflemancy is divination which employs electronic music players. You can use your iPod, your Zune player, even the WinAmp program on your desktop. What’s important is that these music players have an extensive collection of songs and a random play function.

The method works like this: Let’s presume you’re using your phone’s music player. Open your music app but don’t play any music yet. Still your mind and open your thoughts to answers from the Universe. Then ask a question.

In my case, I asked last night whether a close friend who is angry with me will ever speak to me again. Then I pressed the random play button on my iPhone music app.

Two songs came one after the other: “Careless Whisper” by George Michael – Life could never mend / the careless whisper of a good friend…

Then afterwards, “Boys Don’t Cry” by the Cure – I would get down on one knee and beg forgiveness plead with you / But I know it’s now too late, there’s nothing more that I can do..

And that’s really all too it. You just use your intuition to determine the Universe’s answer to your question. You don’t need any fancy tarot cards, or read tea leaves from the bottom of a cup.

All you need is an open mind and a discerning gut feeling. Try it and see if it works for you.

The Chronicles of Janjan July 26, 2017

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I’m dusting off the cobwebs from this blog and committing to a more frequent and regular posting.  One of my best buds was telling me about how he was taking up writing to have a better sense of himself and his “branding” as a photographer.

I thought about that.  Mind you, I write frequently.  Not just in my work as a lawyer but personally, I keep various journals.  I used to have only one but now that my interests have diversified, I keep multiple notebooks to track down my thoughts on various topics.  There’s my personal journal, where I write about the things which happen to me, Jan Ralph Perez, as a person.  Here is where I transcribe things too personal to share to others, or where I process heavy thoughts that need thinking through.

And then there’s my dream journal.  I keep one by my side to write down the dreams which occur to me at night.  I’m what some call a dreamwalker.  My dreams are vivid and fraught with meaning.  Some times, they are also prophetic, or I am used as a vessel to deliver messages to certain people.  There are times where I suspect I have travelled in astral planes to visit other realms.

Then there are my journey notebooks.  These are notebooks which I use to write down my impressions on new Oracle decks that I am acquainting myself with.

Also, there are the various sketchbooks I have lying around with doodles, paintings and drawings from my travels here and there.  I am good at starting these, but lousy at completing them.

Then there are the notebooks I keep in my day-to-day bags, where I write down notes, checklists, and whatever catches my fancy.

There is a notebook for each mask I wear.  One for the inner voice within, another for the shaman-mystic, one for the artist, and another for the lawyer.  A compartmentalization divided by cardboard and paper.

Ah but if you could only read what stories they tell.

Protected: The Shadow in the Room November 8, 2016

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Protected: Shai Hulud October 1, 2016

Posted by Janjan in Armchair Politics, Geekery & Nerdoms.
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